Re-birth
Who re-births who? And what is “our” role in this?
Birth is an easily understood process – certainly its physical aspects. But what about re-birth?
Since committing to my artist mission in mid may of this year, I have plunged into a profound re-birthing process, both deeply painful and exhilarating.
I accepted in every cell of my being that just as I suspected as a child, I have a very unique and powerful mission to which I will have to give my unwavering 100% to fulfil.
My mission is to create and position weapons of light around the planet – both a highly inspiring and daunting task!
With this responsibility to be a crystal-clear conduit for the divine, I quickly accepted that to be completely efficient, I need to set myself free of all blockages in my own life. Blockages block energy. There is no longer room for blockages in my life, or in my body/vessel.
And the pretty major blockage which fairly well detonated in my face within a few days of committing to this journey, and which I’m currently working through, albeit at lightning speed, is my sense of lack.
Lack of love. Lack of human connection.
This goes right back to the very beginning – before birth even, and it’s probably a theme we all have to deal with at some stage or other. I imagine most probably deal with it on their death bed.
But it detonated for me with such force bringing up so much pain that it was simply unbearable. I had to put it down one way or another. The hollowness I felt meant something had to implode rapidly. Heartbreak was on the horizon no matter what direction I looked. I couldn’t see a way through the despair. The situation was fucked in a nutshell.
And in the rarest moment of grace, I managed to just let go on a whole new level. Let go of everything. Fuck it, what was there to lose? And I finally surrendered completely and utterly to the divine.
I had read for years, decades now, that the goal was trusting in life. Allowing life – or the divine – do its thing. But until that moment I simply just wasn’t ready no matter how many nudges I got, or even bricks on the head!
But what has that actually meant for me – letting go? Trusting life?
It means I am now embracing life on a whole new level. I am knocking the stable walls down. I am done with outdated programming, societally imposed limitations, “shoulds” and “should nots” taboos. I’m only interested in the now, how that unfolds in front of me, and through me. And I’m no longer invested in judging the process. For the first time in my life I am truly setting myself free, however uncomfortable the process.
I accept that I am an expression of the divine in all I do. And the divine seeks to flood my being with its light and love. So, I resist no more. If I catch myself resisting, I remind myself that it’s just that: resistance.
How can I resist love? How can I resist life in the full knowing that its purpose is to bring me back to love? And that it will achieve that either way eventually.
I know that if I’m going to find the divine anywhere it’s right here. Right now. And so I choose to see the love in front of me right here and right now. If I can’t see it with my myopia, I commit to look harder until I do find it. Because it is everywhere. And it is the truth of who we are. Every single one of us, however far removed we feel from it.
